If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
