I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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