to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Its about making memories worth repressing
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
