I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
