that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
