and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You just made me feel so damn special
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
