google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
