are you so shy because you have an std?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
