I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you had me at cake vodka
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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