Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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