I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am one with the molecules
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
