Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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