I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
