Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
