The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize