I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
