State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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