Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
