I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize