he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
