My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
