Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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