Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize