Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
