I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
