Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
