First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
