i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
