im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
