I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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