last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
