You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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