who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
