Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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