I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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