Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
