I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
