woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
