Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And then he peed in my hair
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