sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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