OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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