There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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