Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
