I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
