I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
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