think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
