No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
