Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
