Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
