The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
