too bad you live with your parents still
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
