More tranny stories later!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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