no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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