rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize