big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
