"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
