why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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