my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
