She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
