I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
