ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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