You really coming over, don't trick.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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