Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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