tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize